…but thanks for not forgetting me. been busy with school and all that. :| blehhhhhhhhhh <3

Kem once said the best time to go outside was when it is raining.  We were down by pond that day, watching the sun collapse into the lake’s horizon, calling on the moon to hide us. Kem’s eyes trailed up and down as he searched for any sign of covering. He didn’t like her naked. He curled up his nose and stuck out his tongue.

                “What are you doing?” I asked as I watched him move his tongue around in the air.

                He laughed, pulled back his tongue and said, “I’m seeing if it’s gonna rain.”

                I just looked at him.

                “What?”

                “You’re acting crazy.”

                He shrugged, and stuck out his tongue again.

                I sighed, and watched as the sun was swallowed into the waning lake below. The darkness was less afraid to come now, but it crept in slowly, wary of the sun’s inevitable return. “Time to go in,” I said, and started to gather myself. But Kem reached out his hands to settle me, staring into the sky.

                The first landed on his forehead. I watched it dance there for a while, swaying toward his hairline, and then back again. Finally, it travelled down to his nose, flowing on the thin bridge, and then sliding across his full lips. And suddenly we were soaking. I screamed and tried to cover my already flattened, heavy hair. But Kem was laughing. He threw his head backward and started to screaming, the rain sopping his t- shirt and sweats until they were formless, and he pulled them of gingerly.

                I was still worried about my hair, and I covered my head with both of my arms.  “What the hell are you doing?”  I asked him, incredulous.

                He was running toward the lake. I watched him, slightly jealous of his freedom.

                “Kem! What are you doing? Kem!”

                He stopped when he heard this, as if he just realized I was there. Then he turned and rushed toward me, pulling my clothes over my head and toward my ankles.

                “Kem! – The fuck – Kem! Stop it!”

                And he pulled me up over his shoulders. I screamed as he ran toward the angry lake, but he ignored this, and told me to enjoy my skin, and embrace abuse that nature gave it. He balanced me on the edge, and motioned me to look toward the lake.

                Then I closed my eyes, pretended I was the sun, and jumped.  

“You see this cup?”

“Yea, what about it?”

“Pretty neat, huh?”

“I suppose, if you like golden cups.”

Darrell tipped the edge of it with his forefinger.

“Where you fine it?”

“In da dirt somewhere.”

“Who is hide cups in dirt?”

“Ine know.”

Both boys stared at the gleaming metal.

“Well I tink it real nice. Shame someone gone leave it dere.”

“I guess.”

“What you tink I should do with it?”

Marcel shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno, drink outta it?”

Darrell looked up. “Hmm…” he said. “What you is drink outta golden cups?”

Marcel just stared.

“You cyann drink any ol’ ting outta golden cups.”

“Yea.”

Both boys stated for a while, pondering.

“You could drink wine outta it.” Marcel finally said.

“You does drink wine outta glass cups. Not gold.”

“I suppose.”

“We ain’ gat no fancy wine in our house anyways.”

“True.”

The boys were silent again.

“You ca’ put money in it.”

“Cyann put regular monies in no gold container!”

“Well you gat any idea? I see you ain’ say nuttin yet!”

“I tinkin!”

“Yea, yea.”

“We ain’ gat no monies anyways.”

“Yea.”

The boys just stated at the golden cup, wondering.

“Wat you is do wit golden cups?”

Darrel let it slip out of his hands and let it fall on the ground between them, burying it in the dirt.

“Cyann do nuttin wit golden cups.”

stopreading-startdoingpushups:

I wouldn’t call it angst

The tears at night so real

The ripped up paper

And the makeup stained sheets

The heart ripping loneliness

The longing for human contact

The remorse for lost time 

And stupid mistakes

The mind fuckery is all so true

To me

They all loved me 

Supposedly

Every last one

^sigh…so true. how is it that you write exactly what i am feeling???

stopreading-startdoingpushups:

You know that feeling you get? When You’re just sitting in class, and then bam! Flashback. You’re on your knees sucking some dude’s dick. Or his face or something. And you can smell and hear and feel everything so vividly. And you just become fucking disgusted with yourself. I mean there you are in American Studies Honors reliving an unfortunately long blow job. It’s not a great feeling. 

follow! She’s amazing!

Heady Skin
Weak Knees;
Heated Hips,
Gracious Lips.
Forever Hungry:
Tasted Love,
Tainted Desire,
Thirsty Fire.
Sweet Smiles,
Sweet Promises.
Heavy Eyes,
Forgotten Lies.

Stolen Heart
Stolen Soul;
Stolen Love.
Giant Heart
Giant Hands;
Stolen Love.

Memories
Of Pleasantries
Weak Knees
Butterflies
Fluttering Eyes
Forgotten Lies.

Wanton Lovers
Writhing Bodies;
Waning Trust,
Wanting Lust.

Stolen Heart
Stolen Soul
Stolen Dreams.

Lazy Mornings –
When the sun forgets
to wake me, and hides
outside behind trees
and under clouds –
you would roll out of bed,
crouch under the side table to
find your shoes, stretch until
your arms grew three inches,
then, and only then,
you would
kiss me on my forehead,
or on my cheek, or on my fingers,
or whatever skin was easiest
for your lips to find,
and whisper a nothing –
at nothing, for you always think
I am sleeping, but
you still say your words anyway,
just so you can hear them.
Then you would find my lips and
take your thumb and
trace the bruises,
trying not to stir me.
I would try not to smile, but
it was futile.
You were my personal sunrise.

Take heed, desire is not aware of fate
or fate aware of yearning golden light,
a hunger hides within those boughs and takes
sweet rest until the other side of night.
When heaven wakes a man into splendor
he will think not of night, of hate, of hell
but Love will be a light that will render
between the walls that fate created well.
I’ve watched the sun collapse and call the moon,
and I have seen the stars shine dull and die,
but seldom is the glow gone way too soon
and seldom light forgets to leave the sky.
      That time of year when twilight seems too cold
      Fire burn with might and light takes hold.

“You came back…”

He saw a small smile play on her lips. She pulled what was left of the cigarette in her mouth out and blew upward, interested in the way the smoke folded into the atmosphere…he too was watching as the smoke curled into the ceiling. They both liked to see things disappear.

 Then he was looking at her with the same interest of watching something collapse and absorb into thin air.  As if she were something transparent, yet; unable to unveil herself but he knew – oh, how he knew – her true intentions…

She was on top of him now.  Cursing.

He cursed too, for different reasons.

“Of course – Fuck – of course I would –”

“Oh, God – Fuck – I knew – I knew you would –”

“– Come –”

“God yes –”

Then she was gone. Transparent.  Untouchable.  He sat up in his bed and wondered if she was always a dream.

He looked down at her, shivering in the thick cold wind that attacked them once they were outside. “You ready?” He asked.

She just shook her head. “You sure we’re supposed to be doing this?”

“Nope.”

She grunted, disgusted.

“Listen,” he tried to reassure her with a crooked smile in her direction, hoping to tickle dormant feelings inside of her. “It’ll be quick. In and out.”

She only grunted again.

He shook his head and swung his foot over the shallow wall he was perched on and slid down the other side. After a while, he found a gate to let her in.

“In and out,” she said, reminding him.

“Yea, yea…”

He searched around for a tiny foot path that would lead them through the thick woods, but found none. Obviously, this adventure was less easy than his friend made it out to be. He looked over at Evelyn who was just staring strait ahead, looking scared. The biting wind was shaking her back and forth, as if she was made of paper. “Don’t worry,” he said to her, smiling again.

She scowled. “How can I not worry? We’re not supposed to be here –”

“Fuck what we’re supposed to do, Evelyn. For once.”  

Silently, they chose a small harmless path to tread through, pushing menacing trees aside, and dragging small parasite weeds along with them. He tried to be a gentleman and clear a path for her, but she would only ignore this and find her own way. They went on like this for a while, watching the sun rise and fall in many different places, watching the stars come out and dance for them, only to call on the sun again. The cold wind disappeared and was replaced by a choking blanket of heat and sweat, and then was back again, causing friction against bare skin.

He stopped, frustrated. “He said…”

“He said, he said.” chanted Evelyn. “Always wondering about what he said –”

He ran his hair through his new beard. “We were supposed be in paradise by now…”

 “Where we’re supposed to be?” She laughed, allowing the mocking echoes to disturb the sleeping trees. They stirred awake, angry. “You know that he has no interest on where were supposed to be.”

Silence was his response.  Then they went back to searching the forlorn woods, finding nothing.

If I told you danger is calling
whenever your eyes found new ways
to caress my body,
would you listen?
Don’t tempt me.
In childhood I cursed my crush
when he stole secret looks
under flowered dresses
between knobbed knees
scraped him with fingernails and kisses
then apologized with rolls of candy –
cherry - flavored, chocolate -covered –
How many looks have you stolen today?
Don’t tempt me.
Secret smiles lure me
back to the playground –
climbing trees with scraped skin, bloody knees –
you follow me like a fool –
whispering words floating flowered dresses
upward, smiling as you kissed
me in my blood,
drowned in my skin.
You like cherry-flavored
chocolate-covered women,
don’t you?
Don’t tempt me.